Whitey Sings the Blues

Published Monday, May 08, 2006 by Patrick | E-mail this post

~~Blind Willie McTell - Broke Down Engine~~

Is there any genre of music that has been more corrupted and ruined than the blues? Whatever you may think of the movie Ghost World, you gotta admit that when Steve Buscemi goes to the bar and sees the band Blues Hammer, it's a pretty spot-on depiction of what white people have done to the blues. A couple nights ago I was in L.A. to see a show and, for whatever reason, squeezed on to the bill was a guy who was a real life version of that band. Now, I’m not saying you can’t like the blues. I’m not even saying fat bald white guys can’t be influenced by the blues, but there’s a thin line between tribute and insulting parody. And this guy definitely fell into the latter category.

I think a couple mandatory rules have to apply if you’re a middle aged white guy playing the blues. First of all, if you’re going to use a bottleneck to play slide, do it as part of a song, don’t just do it in between songs to show off. Second, pick some better covers. Don’t cover “All Along the Watchtower”. (This actually applies to all bands, regardless of genre. You cannot do a cover of Jimi Hendrix’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower”. Ever.) Covering Bill Withers is OK (although I would have picked something less obvious than “Ain’t No Sunshine”) but don’t insult the audience by snidely asking if anyone has even heard of Bill Withers, especially if your cover is going to be so godawful that it prompts me to wonder if you’ve ever heard of Bill Withers. Third, don’t talk in a stereotypical black accent between songs and say things like “I’ma play some blues fo y’all now.” You might as well have walked out on stage with burnt cork on your face you racist fuck. And lastly, perhaps most importantly, stop singing like that.

I’m not sure if I can describe what “like that” sounds like, but if you’d heard this guy sing you’d know what I was talking about. It seems to be the standard voice that white guys trying to sound like black blues singers use. It’s a kind of growling guttural yelp, a ridiculous shouting that apparently requires contorting your face into pained, constipated expressions to pull off. The aforementioned fictitious Blues Hammer, or if anyone remembers him, Johnny Lang, are pretty good examples of “like that”. My problem with this singing style is - who exactly are you imitating? What blues singer sounds like that? I may not have the most extensive blues record collection in the world, but I’ve got my fair share and I can’t think of anybody who sings like they’re trying really hard to squeeze out a shit.

My sneaking suspicion is that the guy I saw play on Saturday might be a bigger fan of Johnny Lang than of an artist like Blind Willie McTell. If more contemporary blues players were trying to imitate McTell’s haunting, androgynous wail instead of the simulacrum of stereotypes that seem to constitute what they think a blues singer sounds like, we might actually get something new and interesting in the genre. But as it stands now if you wanna hear the blues you’re gonna have to pull out records from 80 years ago, a song like “Broke Down Engine.” All the revivalists, movie stars with sunglasses and harmonicas, bar band minstrels and fat bald white guys in the world will never touch this song.

(Click here to buy The Definitive Blind Willie McTell on Amazon.)

429 Responses to “Whitey Sings the Blues”

dknopp on 9:57 AM

have you heard Peter Case's cover of this? It's darn good.
Queenie on 2:51 PM

Well, this article is pretty darn funny and most certainly true!!
Bruce Johnston on 5:04 PM

That's so perfect...but don't forget about the full throttle approach to stage volume by the Blues Hammerians........All I'm asking for is a some damn dynamics!!
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